why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
