Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize