Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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