no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
