Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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