I seem to have left my pride at pride
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Randomize
