we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
