I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
