I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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