the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
