You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
