yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
