There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I've blown a few things in my day
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
