I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize