what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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