hell yes lets make some ravioli
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
