What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
