Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
