Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
