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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  Nice meating you last night

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  Not a typo

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.

  (719): View more from Colorado

  she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  are you serious?

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand

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• (434): View more from Virginia

  At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's like my freshman wet dream come true

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!

  (1-302): View more from Delaware

  Do it. It’s a noble position.

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• (803): View more from South Carolina

  If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win

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• (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.

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• (951): View more from California

  They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  My vibrator broke.

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??

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