My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
