"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
