the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I understand Curling. That high.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Watching her eat just hurts me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
