I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
