my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
How's work?
Spinning.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
