Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
