Apparently you make a good broom.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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