Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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