you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
