my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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