Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
