why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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