There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
