I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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