the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
