Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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