She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
