epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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