Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
