Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Man, jail baloney is awful.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
