You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
