I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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