My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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