i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Randomize
