He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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