Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We are two peas in an std pod
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
