new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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