Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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