It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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