HIV tests are more positive than that guy
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
