"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
