its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
