Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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