He is such a slut. More and more my type.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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