i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
