I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
