I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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