Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
