and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I supernannyed him into submission
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
