Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
