some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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