My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize