hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
