If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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