maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
