I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
