she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize